Stupid Jokes II (Mandarin)

Q1) Ah Mei's dad has 7 wives. The 5th and 7th are Africans. Guess a Chinese idiom.
A1) Wu Qi Ma Hei

Q2) There's a party in the forest. Who didn't get to eat the cake!?!
A2) GRASS because Cao Mei Dan Gao

Q3) Ah bao was murdered! However, the police quickly found the killer. Who was it?
A3) Ah Dou because Dou Sha Bao

Q4) Xiao Bai and Da Bai are bros. As Xiao Bai grows older, he looks more and more like his bro. Guess a Chinese idiom.
A4) Zhen Xiang Da Bai

Q5) Osama, Bush , Blair and Saddam play mahjong. Who will win first ??
A5) Saddam Hussein because Saddam Hu Xian

Q6) What's the panda's 2 biggest wishes?
A6) i. Get rid of dark eyes ring
ii.Taking colour photo

Q7) Who will pick up the dumpling (ba zhang) on the floor?
A7) Xiang Long because Xiang Long Shi Ba Zhang


Q8) There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil got pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
A8) The one without the rubber

Q9) Xiao Ming drinks milk to grow up. What does Da Ming drink?
A9) Alcohol because Jiu Yang Da Ming

Microphone Stand

OK, I admit I love karaoke. Maybe it's an unfulfilled dream of being a star hahaha... which is definitely a no-no due to tonnes of obvious reasons, so I resort to singing all my heart out in a small but comfortable rooms to a group of victimized friends who have to endure hours of mediocre singing. So, what's lacking in those karaoke joints ? Yup, they were decorated nicely, comfortable ambience plus great package deal including some lunch-hour or happy hour package which enable the patrons to sing for hours! So, again, what's lacking now?

It's the microphone stand!!! Imagine if each room is equipped with the microphone stand, the rooms will be turned into a small concert hall!!! Those rockers can sing their heart out in style parading with the mic stand as if they're holding their own concert! I read sometime ago about a rich middle-aged man in China (yup, now you can read tonnes of weird news happening in China) who forked out almost all of his lifetime savings to hold a concert by himself. He engaged an event company to organize "his" concert and I mean IT"S A REAL CONCERT! Complete with tickets and fans (yup, they're being paid to scream and cheers and shouting "anchor - haha.. the chinese version) and proper venue, the concert was deemed to be a successful one. The "singer" himself send some tickets to his friends to "enjoy" his concert and I guess it's like the best gift the "singer" gives to his fellow friends hahahaha.....

So, while we still haven't heard of the similar news in Malaysia, I seriously think the karaoke operators should think of this and maybe include it as part of the package.
A : I wanna book a room for this Sat lunch hour package.
B : With or without mic stand?
A : With mic stand please.
B : How about fans? Do you want fans? We can arrange flowers to be sent and we can play some audio effect of people clapping and cheering and even shouting your name if you want. But of course, there will be extra charge.

Wouldn't this be great? Haha.....

Politikus? I salute this particular politican

OK, if you are familiar with the local state political scenarios, you may know who am I referring here. He was one of those few who rose from bottom in such a short time, being elected as cabinet minister after winning his first state assembly election and I saw him on TV taking oath in front of the state ruler. Being the bad-mouthed me, I still remember I made fun of him when he was "melafazkan" sumpah. Yup, the bad me laughed at his squeaky voice. And that was very bad, thinking that we share the same surname.

However, I felt ashamed last Sat (not to say I was not ashamed of my other wrong-doings) when I saw him spending some quality time shopping with his wife. He was so simple in dressing, just a polo T-shirt with a simple jeans and a sandal, flashing his smile but not the pretentious-oh-they-recognize-me type which normally celebrities will condone on their fake face! He was totally blend-in with the crowd with ease. Definitely something different from the cliche stereotype perception we have (sorry... should I drag all of you in???) of politicians (or rather politikus). He was so down-to-earth and I was instantly impressed and at the same time embarassed thinking that I made a mockery of him before. I started to think of his current portfolio in the state government, a portfolio least desirable if you wish to lead a hassle-free and bo bun te minister-life. He has to deal with the chronic problem that had been bugging the state and especially the hometown of both me and him, i.e. the electricity and water supply. And mentioning about electricity, I had 3 times disruption on the same day on Sunday!!! Not to mention the some people in Sandakan had to endure a week plus having no power supply!!!! We Sandakan people always made fun of ourselves, saying that "no problem, we are now Nature City mah". Really go back to nature! What's next?
The poor state of investment, not to say foreign but the local domestic capital is definitely had the biggest factor to do with the pathetic condition of basic amenities. Well, I am not a businessman but I guess that's pretty obvious. So, praises aside, I think our Mr. Down-to-Earth has tonnes of burden on his shoulder and I really hope he can manage and turn the table around. So, Mr. Tan..... all the best to you!!!

Working from Home

I stumbled upon an article written on Working from Home, which I felt very much related. www.christopherhawkins.com/08-04-2005.htm

Bukan Idol Biasa

It's confirmed. My idol is neither Daniel nor Nita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the malay gal who sang Siti's "Bukan Cinta Biasa". She exudes soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much emotion with that song and yeah....... I had goosebumps all over my body!

Pay Your Deeds

I committed a crime. Yes, a crime that may end up me being caught by the police. So, to avoid that from happening, I went to the police station and settled a summon (settle legally, not with the traffic police coaxing me to settle with me inside my car and negotiate with him with my car window down). Surprisingly the summon is due to SPEED LIMIT (and I always proud of myself driving very slow?) and the original sin (no pun intended) cost RM300!!!! Yup, that's a whooping figure and I can almost pay my car installment with that amount. But normally it will be reduced to RM150 which is 50% discount (kind huh?) and the latest promotion is another whooping 50% discount which means I only paid RM70 for my wrong-doing. I only get to know about the summon when I checked it via sms after receiving a call from my paranoid mom. Yeah... she's a schoolbus driver so she's having a greater risk of being issued a summon without her knowledge. But it was me, the "usually-slow" driver who got the summon. The crime was committed on May 14, 2005 and I think it was during m y driving journey back to SDK on the way to Kalimantan for commissioning of a new system my company sold. What to do??? Pay and get over it lor... furthermore, the discount made it sounds not that bad at all...... but RM70 can buy like 10 times lunch/dinner, 8 times watching a movie on Wed, almost 3 times haircut, 39 days of Star newspaper supply and the list go on...........
Expectedly, the queue is quite long especially now during the promotion period and I indulged myself in listening to the conversations surrounding me and get some laugh from it and this ah pek (uncle - middle-aged man) topped it all when he settled his summons with the cashier. He was queueing in front of me and when it was his turn to pay, I was amused by his conversations with the cashier:

A : Ah Pek C : Cashier
A : Aiyo, sia endak manyak lah (Aiyo, mine is not tat much lah - what he means is his summon, which is 5 altogether)
C : (she just smiled i guess)
A : Ini lakat midika sana mana ada parking? Susah cari parking lah. (It's near to the Merdeka Shopping Complex, where got parking space? Difficult to get a parking space lah)
C : Yakah? Mahu terus bayar? (Is it? You want to pay all now?)
A : Midika sana manyak susah lah. Sia susah mau cari parking, itu malam hari enam sama itu malam hari minggu manyak susah lah (The place around Merdeka is very difficult to get parking. Esp on sat and sun night)
C : Mahu terus bayar? (You want to pay all now?)


That uncle repeated his dialogue for at least 5 times before taking out his wallet and paid his deeds. Gosh...... I was glad he finally do that instead of repeating his reasoning for n times. I mean what's the point of telling the cashier where or why he got the summon???? It's not like she's gonna cancel it or sth like that!!!! He's delaying the process which caused the people queueing behind him had to stand sweating under the hot sun (I didn't really complained about this coz I thought it's some way to punish us for the summon and the pay back we get. I dun mind since I got the discount). However, next time when I saw the same uncle again, I will make sure I won't be queueing somewhere behind him!!!!

Drink Drank Drunk

I watched the 7.15pm show of Drink Drank Drunk by Miriam Yeung and Daniel Wu. Being a film by Derek Yee Tung Sing, it's actually kinda under his par but enjoyable as a whole. For demanding audiences who hope something like One Night in Mongkok - Mong Kok Hak Ye or Cest La Vie, Mon Cheri - Sen Bet Liu Ching, they will be disappointed. But with standard romantic comedy format, there's nothing much you can do (Keeping the Faith with Edward Norton and Ben Stiller is exception so OK, I am biased here cox I like Derek). It's NOT like I LOVE the plot or something like that but I guess it's an entertaining watch and I felt good being able to pull off some laugh along the movie. What else can you expect from a HK movie nowadays? Miriam and Daniel had quite some chemistry and being the 3rd movie of them pairing up, they got the "mek kei" we talk about. Miriam is her usual self but I guess she toned down her comedic type of acting, which is good. Well... even Sammi Cheng opt for meatier role now, I guess you need to be versatile and diversified in roles choosing. But I want to watch "Sam Gang" as it was being touted as Miriam's breakthrough role.
Daniel is his usual handsome attractive self, perhaps too much despite dressed rather snoobish but that can't really hide his charm. The limelight was stolen by Alex Fong Zhung Shun by his "dai lou" character, which surprisingly departed from his usual cool and serious roles but instead brought most of the comic relief for the film. Guk Dek Ciu portrayed the campy gay character which had been all the while being stereotyped in most HK movies. Maybe it's because of his rather plump physique, it reminds me of Eric Tsang's role in "Gem Ji Yuk Yip".
I am listening to the HK radio now and the 3 most awaited movies will be released soon. "Perhaps Love" a musical by Peter Chan Ho Tsun (of Tim Met Met fame) with Jackie Cheung, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Zhou Xun and the male lead in the hoo-ha Korean series, Jewel in the Palace; "Cheong Hen Go - Everlasting Regret" by Stanley Kwan Gem Pang with Sammi Cheng (too much attention had been given to her till she outshines her male co-star) and ...... sorry I forgot!!! It's my age getting in again.

Six Feet Under Season 3

I got my 3rd season DVD but I can't play it in my DVD player!!! The cheap DVD player can't detect it and I'm so angry. Now I have to get another player to watch the whole season! And that means I will be robbed from the luxury of watching it at the comfort of my own little flat with food and drink within reach.................. OK, it can go on and on.................shit

Do you listen to music or read anymore?

(That was a great album, mentioned in Ahmad's blog as well. Ray's duet with Diana Krall is flawless, and another track to be paid attention to is his duet with Bonnie Raitt, Do I Ever Cross Your Mind)

Yup, it's related to Ahmad Izham's posting in his blog. There's this entry of his made me reflect on what's happening to me as well. He mentioned the dying habit of teenagers nowadays, i.e. listening to music due to more choices of entertainment available now. But I think the habit got hit most is reading. Myself for instance had find it hard to sneak out some time to indulge in the rich world of books. Even if I have time, I would choose to read lighter material or shorter ones for that matter so I can finish it faster and opt for other entertainment mode, yup... the idiot box.
And another thing about listening to music, it's very true. When we bought CDs in the heydays, we read every single lines, captions of the album and even the lyrics of each songs. I was always amazed by myself in memorizing, whether intentionally or unintentionally the lyrics of the songs I like. That's why during karaoke session, when the music starts, I can sing without much difficulties. Maybe it's the age thing and hence, our hard disk hardly have any space to slot in new memories. But lyrics aside, like what Ahmad mentioned, we seldom get those goosebumps when we listen to the songs in the albums we bought. I think it got to do with our financial state. I mean, when we were young, buying CDs (oppss... it should be casette) is not something regular and hence, we tend to treasure them more. We read every page of the lyric booklet and immerse ourselves in the nice photos but nowadays songs can be downloaded anytime and pirated CDs are everywhere. Can we say it's like taking it for granted? Hmm..... gonna listen to some goosebumps-inducing music tonight.

Stupid Jokes

OK, I just checked out the 8tv website after reading an interview on Ahmad Idzam, the super cool CEO of 8tv, checking out his rant in his blog and stumbled upon his entry asking for stupid jokes. Here're some I cracked some laugh of:
1. What is common between Saddam and panty hose?
Both irritates Bush.
2. If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we are all in heaven cox they'll ignored the apple
and eat the snake instead.
3. Why did Catherine went to the cinema with her 18 friends?
Because according to the advertisement, below 18 is not allowed.
4. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns doesn't work.
OK, the others were too long. I'm too lazy to type plus I think the shorter the funnier.

Sandy is back

Finally Sandy is back to the HK music scene. With a new album in progress, I got to listen to her latest single called "Bun Sik", familiar style of hers, combining the urban groove feel which can be traced back to her previous songs like "Wui Guei" etc.... Another artiste I wish to have her back to HK music scene is Karen Mok though I think it's not going to be happening soon coz Karen is nowhere near to where Sandy is yet. Sherry, I think you will like Bun Sik.

Wong Kar Wai's 2046

This is one of the movie that I yearned to watch and at the same time, scared to watch. Maybe the expectation is too high on Mr. Wong and another factor is ZhangZiYi. Not really a fans of her. Sophia said that the movie disappoints her even though she has low expectations and she said she even doubt whether it's really Mr. Wong who directed it. OK, what am I going to do with the original VCD that I borrowed from PT? OK, I bought the DVD for The Days of Being Wild so, in case 2046 sucks... I have another movie to compensate my disappointment. Stupid huh???

It had been 3 years................

First of all, what would you do if you get a message like "sweet dreams" around 11pm-12am from a long time buddy??? OK, I gotta say I'm speechless and believe it or not, I ignored the msg. Not freaked out but I wonder how should I reply to that and knowing him so well, it's not easy to handle hahahhahahaha.....
It's only yesterday that when another buddy told me about his birthday.... gosh I forgot his birthday!!!! This brings out another question, is it OK for a guy to forget his other guy buddy birthday??? I mean girls are naturally-equipped with the ability to remember their frens' birthdays and not to forget their idols' birthdays but guys??? I mean I am sorry to V for forgetting his birthday and here, I would like to wish him a belated Happy Birthday. Though I'm very much aware that this will not help much, but at least I am wishing him something, which he said..... it had been 3 years.... hahahhahahaha.... Happy Belated Birthday buddy!

You wanna die? Better be fast and dun waste my time

Read or listen from somewhere on a suicide case in China. A woman/man was trying to jump off a building and suddenly lots of people gathered at the bottom of the building, waiting for some great show. The worst thing is that the Chinese flexed their entrepreneurship skills and started to sell binoculars and drinks (it's hot there). Some who stays around the block even went back and brought back some stools and chairs!!! It's like watching some chinese opera during the Ghost month in lunar 14th July!!! Even worse is that there're some people interviewed actually kinda blamed the police for being able to discourage the woman/man from jumping down. Reason??? Because they had been waiting for so long and it's not worth at the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There goes our humanity, went down the drain.

Shut Up! I can't take it anymore!

I took this during the torturing train journey to the Pangi station for the whitewater rafting. The subject facing the camera was a local native woman. Opposite her were a Dutch couple who talks endlessly during the whole journey. What I deduced from this photo? The native woman can't stand the endless conversation and you can sense it from the obvious and penetrating gaze. Wish I am more observant to take more pics like this.

an eventful holiday weekend

I went to the Whitewater rafting in Padas on Sat and wow.... it's amazing! I'd never done anything like this before so it's the 1st time and like they always say.... it's always memorable the first time hahaha...
There were 4 of us, including the fun Kiwi I hosted, Mark, J and Mavis. The whole program actually spanned a whole day, from 7am till 7pm. We were picked up in a travel van to Beaufort, from where we took a train to Pangi. OK, the travel van is comfortable enough but the train journey was a TORTURE. Being touted as the last surviving train service in Borneo, the train was described as "dinasour" age monster by Mark and I totally agreed. The train is very old, purported to be in operation since before WWII. It was jerky (no pun intended) and loud all the way; not to mention noisy. But tat aside, I think it's a GREAT journey hahahha.... tat is after the rafting thing. The whole train journey took 1.5 hrs. Hot sticky weather made it even more unbearable. We reached the Pangi station and there were lots of other rafters as well, mostly from HK (spot-on recognized from their Cantonese). After briefing on some techniques and safety measures, we were on the raft!!! It was exciting and our experienced rafter was the 1st one to be thrown to the water when we were at our 1st rapid (sorry dude for revealing this hahahaha....). The rapids came with funny names, BBQ Rapid (coz it's the last one before we have our BBQ lunch), Cobra, Washing Machine, etc. We did some body rafting as well, i.e. rafting using our life jacket. Yea.... I'm a non-swimmer but with a life jacket, I have no problem trying. All in all, it's a fun trip and definitely worth the 150 bucks we paid. However, I din take any photos so I posted a pics I took from the Sabah Tourism website.